I know I don’t use this blog very often, I generally don’t have much going on musically that seems worthy of posting. I’ve more or less retired from doing acoustic shows. I know a lot of people enjoy it and it is the only way to get their music to people but to me it is one of the most boring and unfulfilling things I’ve done. I never intended to be a ‘solo’ artist, as I’ve said before. Having a band is what I’ve known and it’s how I prefer to present my songs. Unfortunately, it has been hard to find other people to play with… until recently. Last year I started playing with a drummer friend named Jake Verble, who I happened to have grown up with. Somehow we never played music together until last year. We’ve been working and re working on songs, jamming, trying new ideas, making rough demos, etc. for some time now.
2012 was a weird and wild ride for me and 2013 has been a continuation of that. I got so used to a certain routine and truly believed I was doomed to stay in it for the rest of my life. My point of view was very negative and I had little excitement about the future, whatever that means. Sometime in 2012 I got a huge electric shock inside of me that woke me up from a coma. I started living. I realized that I wasn’t doing much musically anymore and I set out to regain that side of me I was so familiar with at one time. That led to me playing all those acoustic shows and starting to write more and more. It’s not an easy thing to reclaim something and I have hit a lot of rough spots, especially with writing. It’s been hard to know what my voice is at 25. I still haven’t fully figured it out yet but I’m more in touch with myself than I was before. I’m interested in expressing where I’m at now and exploring new musical ideas and I have been doing so.
We’ve been recording my debut EP and hope to have it finished and released within a month. As of now the title is Push/Pull and we will have 4-6 songs on it. This is a strange thing because I haven’t felt ready to put something out in a long time. i’m still not fully ready but I’m going to do it anyways. I wish I could say there is some huge underlying personal theme or that these songs are all autobiographical and tell my story but they’re really just a collection of songs we’ve been working on over the last few months. Don’t get me wrong, there are aspects that ring true to me but a few of the songs are story songs about fictional characters. Of course, I sing them in first person so that will probably be lost on most who hear it. I’m slightly worried that friends and family may try to read in and get it wrong but I suppose that’s their right to do so. It’s a strange concept to sing songs as a character in first person. Or to sing a song sarcastically but without really letting the listener know that you’re not being sincere. Randy Newman does this often but people seem to get it right off the back.
One of my songs is about a man and a prostitute, one is about a man whose wife has left him and probably won’t come back. One is about a borderline stalker who is clearly in denial that the woman he wishes to possess isn’t coming around and was probably never even aware of his infatuation. It’s about fantasy. There is no real cues to signify this, it’s all up to the listener to interpret it. Which goes to my original point of being worried that people are going to assume these are literal songs about things in my life. Ah, well who will listen anyways? I understand the repetitive nature of songs about women through a man’s perspective. That is something I am working on to consciously write about other things. Interpersonal relationships are just so damn interesting to me though. Different dynamics between different people can cause so many outcomes, I love it. If nothing more than as a study, it’s really cool to me. I love going through life and forming new relationships, thinking about old ones, ending current ones, etc. Obviously there can be a lot of pain involved but it’s just part of the game of life. It builds character.
Well, I got off of my original point which was to talk about my EP. I will follow this up with a less ranty version.